by Genevieve Springer

In his first letter to the young pastor, Timothy, the Apostle Paul listed some requirements for leaders in the church. Among these were virtues such as self-control, gentleness, sincerity, and having a clear conscience. The apostle also instructed leaders to be monogamous and to teach their children to be respectful and obedient. I suspect one of the reasons Paul insisted on such high standards for leaders was that he recognized the great power of seeing truth demonstrated in real life—of having models. To the Thessalonians Paul wrote, "You know how we lived among you for your sake. You became imitators of us and the Lord…" Paul’s teaching supports the old adage, "Truth is often incarnational before it is propositional."

I was influenced by powerful models during the first four years of our marriage, as my husband and I served in an inner city church. One of those years, at Christmas time, our church family surprised us with a gift of $500. We were astonished, knowing there was no way they had access to that much money. We later discovered that $400 of that amount had come from a young couple who was assisting us in this difficult place of ministry. When we confronted them with our astonishment, they explained that an extra job had recently dropped into their laps. The unexpected money hadn’t been a part of their budget, so they simply decided to give the money to us. I was humbled, knowing in my heart that, had the tables been turned, I would have thought of dozens of ways to spend the extra money on things I wanted. I was also inspired by what I had seen modeled. Human beings really could, by God’s grace, live unselfishly, looking not only to their own interests, "but also the interests of others" (Philippians 2:4). This demonstration of care and generosity had a remarkable effect on my own generosity quotient.

One of the arenas in which congregations desperately need to see godliness and wholeness modeled is in family life. In their book, Pastors at Risk, H.B. London and Neil Wiseman write about some hazards in ministry. One of the hazards they list is "Dysfunctional People." "Dysfunctional family relationships are so common," write London and Wiseman, "that a high percentage of individuals in every congregation carry scars from a fractured childhood." While our dysfunctional congregants need to hear the Word preached, they also need to see the word lived. They need to see that it is possible for husbands and wives to love and honor one another, that children and parents can treat each other with respect, and that families can enjoy being together. They need real life examples of God’s love fleshed out in family relationships.

Models of Christian family life touched the life of Shirley Deere, who grew up with an alcoholic father and all of the dysfunction that alcoholism brings to a family. Her very difficult childhood was brightened by a spark of hope when she and her brother began attending a little neighborhood church. Here a godly Sunday school teacher took an interest in her and sometimes she and other church families took the children home for Sunday dinner. In those homes, Shirley began to see how Christian families lived, how God’s love looked demonstrated in human relationships. She knew that someday she wanted a home like those she visited. When she was in the sixth grade, she began to pray for a Christian husband. Years later, while in college, she met James Dobson and later married him and established a loving home. God had heard her prayers and fulfilled the dreams that were birthed in the sixth grade, while seeing family life modeled by godly examples.

In one of his sermons, Earl Palmer shares an illustration about the power of models:

When you were a child and with a group of friends, did you ever come to a wide stream, just a little wider than you thought you could get across by jumping. You stand on one side of the bank, and you wonder if you can make it across that creek. Then one of the group tries it. This person makes a run and jumps and lands on the other bank. Perhaps you were a little frightened about trying, and now you decide, ‘Hey, I can try it too.’ So you try it. And you also make it and win. Because someone showed you it could be done, their victory became your victory.

As pastors’ families, we certainly aren’t perfect. But if we can demonstrate that living by God’s principles helps make families healthy, perhaps we will have jumped across the stream and given others the courage to jump too.